Fly on the Wall
by Ebony Rayne
Summary: What if this was a cruel joke? She wouldn't really put it past half the people she knew, let alone this one she didn't. It was time for some snooping. Angel of Music formerly Untitled , from Rachel's POV.


**A/N: **Now, I know I said I would never add anything to _Angel of Music_ — formerly _Untitled_ —but this side-story popped into my head a while ago and _Angel of Music_ was just so popular, I felt the need to write it out.

**This is not a sequel. It is a side-story.** That means, it is the same story from a different POV, though it can be read on it's own. **There will never be a sequel. **I would have no idea what to put in one. Sorry. If anyone wants to write a sequel, feel free. Just, you know, disclaim and tell me.

**Summary: **What if this was a cruel joke? She wouldn't really put it past half the people she knew, let alone this one she didn't. It was time for some snooping. _Angel of Music _(formerly _Untitled_), from Rachel's POV.

**Warnings: **none

**Pairings: **Harry/Kurt, Rachel/Finn, Santana/Puck (kinda, if you can actually call them a couple), Tina/Mike

**Glee: **This takes place Season 2, Episode 4 (if my episodes are numbered right).

**Harry Potter: **Takes place after the _Order of the Phoenix_. Except Voldemort was killed at the Ministry. And "Horcruxes" is just a funny word. Harry is 17 and a Junior.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or Glee. If I did, things would be very different. And by different, I mean filled with porn.

**Random fact: **The crack of a whip is the tip breaking the sound barrier.

"_I want a date… with Kurt."_

Really? _Really?_ Not that Kurt isn't awesome — he is, he's one of her best friends, regardless of whether or not they wanted to choke the other that week — but how was the new kid to know that? He'd just transferred a month and a half ago and had already carved out a nice niche for himself as "that rich, sexy British guy", jumping straight to the popularity platform that usually hosted jocks and Cheerios exclusively.

He had reached the top without trying and now he was just going to… fall? True, Quinn and her minions had done just that, but it was to keep an eye on Finn. Then Puck had joined — whether for Quinn or Finn, she wasn't quite sure — and Mike and Matt joined for theirgirlfriends (though she assumed the dancing also drew Mike in).

What was Potter's angle? Why was he doing this? It couldn't really be for Kurt — Potter didn't know anything about him other than the fact that he sings and wears designer clothing — so what was going on?

"The hottest guy in school — the rich, well-dressed one with the jewel-green eyes and yummy accent — will only join Glee club if I go on a date with him?"

She tried to make the group see reason;

"Exactly, which, quite frankly, I find completely unprofessional and — "

"Done."

Done? _Done?_ Just like that? No questions? No suspicion? Just… yes?

No one else seemed to be worried — not even Finn or Mercedes, the almost-brother and the very best friend. Shouldn't they, more than anyone else, be voicing some concern? What if this was a cruel joke? She wouldn't really put it past half the people she knew, let alone this one she didn't.

It was time for some snooping.

"Despite the fact that Kurt and I have a tendency to argue, we really share many of the same interests, so I think you should disclose your date ideas with me. For your own good."

Rachel wasn't sure if he really bought that argument or if he wanted her to stop talking to him, but she managed to find out his plans.

She knew Kurt had already seen _Les Mis_ that week (and hated it), so that was out. It was between skating and making a salesclerk cry. She headed for the skating rink, having sent someone to check the mall.

_Yes,_ she mentally cheered as she saw the two on the ice, quickly sending a text to her co-conspirator to let her know that Kurt had decided on the skating lessons. She watched as Kurt struggled to remain upright and Potter picked up fairly quickly on the movements. She sent off another text and waited.

The Zamboni driver/janitor beckoned for the instructor to come closer.

"Ok," the instructor called after the janitor gave him his message. "I need to take this call real fast, so everyone skate around, get used to your skates. Please stay near the railing, no speeding, and if anything happens before I get back, just scream for me." He stepped off the ice and took off his skates, quickly disappearing to the back. Rachel snuck forward and laid down between the bottommost bleacher seats.

Her fellow spy would keep the instructor busy long enough for Rachel to see how Potter and Kurt interacted alone… ish. As long as the instructor didn't get frustrated with her helper's random questions — or as long as her helper was able to stick to the questions Rachel had given her — she should have a good hour or so before she needed to go to Breadstix.

She watched between a gap in the seats as Potter guided Kurt to the railing and they began to make their way slowly around the rink, ignoring the other skaters around them. Potter kept Kurt between himself and the railing, but Kurt still managed to fall.

She couldn't see his face, but she knew Kurt was glaring at Potter from his position on the ice. "I hate you," she faintly heard him say as Potter helped him up. "I thought you said you would fall?"

_But he didn't because he's a liar!_

"I thought I would," Potter insisted as they began skating again. "I'm usually a klutz when it comes to doing anything that…" _Damn it._ They got too far away for her to hear them, but she could just picture Kurt pouting. She crawled further down the isle and shifted for a better viewing angle as she strained her ears for any part of their conversation. _Come on. Come on!_

She caught Potter say, "…want me to fall so badly…" before he grabbed Kurt's arm and tripped.

"Bastard."

_You tell him._

She'd snuck back out of the ice rink once the instructor returned and headed straight for Breadstix. She sat in her car until Potter and Kurt showed up so she'd know where to sit to spy on them. As she waited, she fitted on a red wig and some fake bulky glasses.

Her car door opened and a form slipped inside. "Do I get a disguise, too?" Brittney asked.

"Sure," Rachel answered as she pulled out a black wig and tucked Brittney's hair into it. She hadn't been sure about including the blonde Cheerio, but Brittney was smarter — and more devious — than people gave her credit for, and she loved Kurt and his crazy fashion, so Rachel knew she would help. She only hoped Brittney kept a low profile in the restaurant.

"Don't I get glasses?"

"You don't need them. The wig has bangs." Rachel adjusted Brittney's new hair and gave her a forest green jacket to cover up the black sweater the blonde was wearing. Apparently, Brittney had decided to get into the spirit of things when she picked out her clothes — black skinny jeans, a tight black sweater, and some knee-high black boots. Not conspicuous at all.

Rachel gave Brittney a matching green hat to put on over her wig and pulled off her own sweatshirt, revealing a dark purple blouse. Potter's car pulled up at that moment and Rachel turned to her fellow spy. "Let's go."

"How are these things so popular? They're kinda crappy."

"Ok, you're insane. These are fantastic."

Rachel and Brittney had gotten the booth right next to Potter and Kurt. Rachel had her back to them and Brittney sat across from her, trying to eat her spaghetti by using two breadsticks as chopsticks. She managed it for a second before the spaghetti slipped through the bread and fell back onto the plate with a wet _squelch_.

Rachel took a sip of her lemonade and leaned her head back slightly, trying to make it look like she was simply attempting to get a crick out of her neck.

"They're mass-produced, flash-frozen, flown half-way across the country, and reheated for 10 minutes. And stale. _So _stale." _Can't argue with that,_ Rachel agreed reluctantly, breaking a breadstick from the table's basket in half. She was only able to eat them after softening them with pasta.

"Oh, I suppose you can do better?"

"Of course. I'll prove it to you next weekend."

_That is _not_ how you get a second date. Aren't British men supposed to be prim and courteous? Ask properly._

"Did you just ask me out on another date?"

"I actually think I just ordered it. I'm sorry."

_You're damn right you're sorry._

An awkward silence commenced and soon Rachel began to wonder if they were going to talk at all for the rest of the night. Brittney pushed a meatball toward her with her nose and Rachel pushed it back with her fork, quietly shaking her head. Brittney shrugged and tried to eat the meatball while she sat on her hands. Rachel's attention began to drift.

"So…. Why me?" Brittney sat up and Rachel's attention zoomed back to the duo behind her. "I mean, we're the only gay kids at the school — that are out, anyway — so that's probably why me _specifically_, but I still don't know why you wanted to go out at all." Finally, they had reached the point she'd been waiting for. Why _had_ Harry Potter set his sights on Kurt?

There was a brief pause.

"What kind of question is that?" Brittney slid around the booth to hear better and Rachel put her arm around her to excuse the movement. Brittney placed her head on Rachel's shoulder and they leaned as far back as they could get away with, straining to hear. "'Why you?' Are you crazy? You're…" The two girls heard Potter let out a heavy sigh. "Wow. You're gorgeous, and you're sweet, and talented. You speak your mind and you refuse to change for anyone, even when you're terrified. _Especially_ when you're terrified. And you may be a total diva, but I think it's adorable. _You're_ adorable."

"Oh," Brittney quietly cooed. Rachel hugged her in happiness.

Great, now she felt bad for spying on them.

"I've heard all I need to hear," Rachel whispered to Brittney.

"Let's go," Brittney whispered back.

Rachel waved for the waiter and tried to deepen her voice so the couple behind her wouldn't recognize it; "Check, please."

Rachel smiled and watched through the choir room window as Harry kissed all over Kurt's face, making the other teenager giggle and blush. She'd never seen Kurt so happy.

She heard the rest of the Glee clubbers approach, loudly discussing who would get to beat up Harry first if his date with Kurt had gone badly.

"I think we can also agree that, as his almost-brother, I get first shot," Finn said.

"Hello? _I'm_ his best friend," Mercedes argued.

"I don't think you two have to worry about who hits him first," Rachel said through a smile as the group approached her. She peeked through the window again and giggled. "I think the date went _very_ well." _Very, _very_ well._

She ignored the people around her as they joined her in spying, ignored Kurt as he declared them perverts and escorted them in, ignored Harry as he called Kurt their "precious diva". She was too happy to pay attention. Harry wasn't a cruel bastard and Kurt had a boyfriend who thought he was "wow". What could possibly make their lives better? Except winning Nationals, of course, but that was a ways off, so it didn't count yet. Sectionals. She would focus on Sectionals.

She returned Brittney's covert nod, tapping the side of her nose to humour the blond, and turned her attention to Finn as he put his arm around her. He leaned down and whispered, "I don't think Kurt's ever been this happy."

"Isn't it great?" She snuggled into Finn's side and waited for Mr. Schuester to show up.

"Hey, Kurt, did you notice that lesbian couple in the booth next to ours? I'm pretty sure they were snogging, because the redhead kept leaning back into her seat."

No one noticed Rachel blush.

**A/N:** Yeah, Rachel bugs the living hell out of me, but she's also most likely to snoop.

I was originally going to end it after "Isn't it great?" but felt I _had_ to add the thing about the lesbian couple. It came to me and demanded to be included.

How'd y'all like it? What about my Brittney/Rachel spy team? "As long as the instructor didn't get frustrated with her helper's random questions — or as long as her helper was able to stick to the questions Rachel had given her" was a hint at who the second spy was. Who else would ask such random questions that Rachel needed to give her a list? I added Brittney later, because I decided Rachel couldn't do it alone and I'd already had Mercedes and Tina wondering how the date went. And I couldn't use Santana or Quinn because I hate them more than I hate Rachel. I hate Quinn most, for reference.

Brittney, on the other hand, is friends with Kurt, has her random moments of wisdom, is fairly devious, and amuses me. She's so random and childlike and sweet. I love her. She's my third favourite. Right after Kurt and Blaine, and right before Sam, Finn, and Puck.


End file.
